Are you focusing on things you can't control?

Lately I have noticed my Facebook landscape is looking different. Many of my friends from both ends of the political spectrum have left Facebook to protect their piece of mind. And those that are left seem to post mainly articles that may be factual and educational but generally inspire fear and a scarcity mindset.  

The things we see in the news and social media impact our mental health. Here is an article if you would like to dig into the research for yourself.

While being informed is important, how do you know when enough is enough? Will knowing every fact about lasting COVID effects may linger for years change what you can control about getting it or managing your health and life outside of that? Not really. What about obsessing about the economy? Will stressing cause it to magically make money? Nope.

Is spending time focusing on these things impacting the quality of your daily life? How would your day feel if you looked you focused on positive actions, thoughts, and words? What would your day look like if you only spent more time focused on the things you can control than the things you can’t?

What is in your control?

>You can control your actions. You can control sanitary and protective practices. You can control how well you eat, how often you exercise and expose yourself to negativity. All of which play a role in having a healthy immune system.

Can you control how your body will act to the virus once contracted? Nope. But you can control your self-care actions during and after recovery. You can contribute to the common good by donating plasma after recovery.

>You can control your breath. If the negativity and fear is impacting your emotions, practice some breathing meditations. If you can control your breath, you can control your mind. Its is a practice and it takes time, but it is in your control.

> You can turn the television off. Some of you are going to be resistant to this. You feel that if you are not “informed” then you are being a bad American. The political landscape of the world is much like soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful. The characters rarely change, and you can go months without watching an episode and be caught up to the drama in an episode or two. Politics and the news are the same way. Give yourself a break if needed. The drama will be there when you return.   

If you find yourself suckered in to watching the news because you need to see the weather. There are some really good weather apps that you can get for your phone that are facts and nothing else.

>You control what you share and contribute to others state of mind. Memes and articles, you post impact other people’s mental states. Every single coaching course I take teaches that to bring people together we need to see the common good, relatedness and positive actions. The news and social media are doing the opposite. If you think these corporations want us united as a people, you may want to think again. Their actions say otherwise. There is money in divisiveness and violence. There is a reason for the phrase “If it bleeds, it leads.” And biologically we are wired to look for danger. The problem is, we are inundated with it 24/7 and our nervous systems never get a break. This constant stress is just as harmful to our health as being a workaholic or sugar junkie.

I understand wanting to save a scholarly article to read and reference later. However, you do not have to post that to your public feed. You can post it to “only me” in the settings easily. It is there for you to reference but its not seen by everyone else. You can also “snooze” anyone that you need a break from for 30 days. You stay friends with them, you simply don’t see what they post for 30 days. If someone is writing harassing comments on things you post, you can “restrict” what they see. a “restricted” person is still your “friend” on Facebook but they can only see things you post publicly and not to what is shown to friends only.

Things we post are a form of communication. However, in normal conversation, you get to see the other persons face or hear their voice before deciding if a certain conversation should be had in that moment. That aspect of communication is lacking in social media. And unfortunately, people show up there to process or vomit up their fears, scarcity mindset and so on without considering other people state of mind. Yes, you can choose to not comment or keep scrolling, but things cant be unseen. Be considerate wit what you post.

>You can create spaces with boundaries. We have a gathering place called “The Barn.” The rules for this place are “No politics-no religion.” These rules are in place to ensure that everyone can gather and have a good time. It is a place of rest and recreation and it is always full of laughter and good conversation.  

There is a time and place for every conversation. However, it is our responsibility to be responsible with the energy we bring to a space, whether that is virtual or in person.

Are there any things that you would add to this list of things we can control or shift our focus to during this time?