2021 Reflections

I love New Years. I feel like it is the reward for making it through all the social events that take place between Thanksgiving and Christmas. There is that lovely time between December 26th and January 1st were no one really expects big things from you. It’s the time an introvert can do the thing she does best with no guilt. A couple of years back I was scrolling Instagram and an influencer I followed (@dannyjdotcom) made her New Year’s post and it was so beautiful that I adopted it for myself. Part of why I love it is because it has not one single weight or physical beauty goal tied to it. There are no work or finance goals either. It is simply about being present and experiencing life. And this can be done at any weight or tax bracket, which makes utterly it perfect for everyone.

“I choose to manifest:

More beautiful moments.

More beautiful places.

More sunrises.

More sunsets.

More knowing myself.

More growth opportunities.

More life lessons.

More calm.

More peace.

More laughter.

More fun.

More adventure.

More abundance mindset and less scarcity mindset.

More deep conversations.

More connection with myself and others.”

Now each year, I check in with myself to see if I lived my year by design and with intention or if I let 365 days slip by in a state of default. Here is a little bit of what that looked like for me. I will admit, it feels a bit narcissistic and conceited to create a blog post like this when 2020-2021 have been incredibly tough on some. But when I was on the struggle bus in the past, it was women in the online space that gave me inspiration to live and unconventional life. And to be honest, these experiences were not huge monetary investments.

My desire is for women and caregivers (of all sexes) to see that we don’t have to live a life of martyrdom or wear a badge of exhaustion like it’s the Nobel Peace Prize. We can live a life lush with happiness, joy and creative expression while still honoring our familial responsibilities.

This reminds me of one of my favorite Clarissia Pinkola Estes quotes,

“Wolves and Women have much in common. Both share a wild spirit. Women and Wolves are instinctual creatures, able to sense the unseen. They are loyal and protective of their packs and of their pups. They are wild and beautiful. Both have been hunted and captured. Even in captivity, one can see in the eyes of a Woman, the longing to run free, and the determination that should the opportunity arise, whoosh, they will be gone.”

And with that, let’s look at what it looks like to run through life “Howelling at the moon.”

The first sunrise of 2021 is above. Each year, Mark and I book some time away to connect with each other and set goals for the next year. It is also our time to address any big relational issues that may need some space and no outside distractions. (Knowing this is coming makes us address things throughout the year so we don’t have to have a big “Come to Jesus” conversation on a vacation getaway. Lol!) By the way, Biscuits and Blues is a cool place to check out if you are in Natchez. And if the weather permits, you should drive through St. Catherines Creek Wildlife Reserve. Or bring your kayak and go fishing. You won’t regret it. (These are filed under, more beautiful moments, places, adventure, deep conversations and more knowing myself and others.)

February I was able to slip away and spend some time with the Movement crew from Watson on their winter retreat. March was highlighted by a concert by one of my favorite blues artists, Tab Benoit. It was his first concert since 2020. And there is nothing quite like the blues after a year of no live music and quarantine! That vibe hit different. (Connection, deep conversations, knowing myself and beautiful moments.)

To watch the sun set and rise on the top of Blood Mountain in Georgia has been on my bucket list for a long time. I first visited this mountain when my dad took us there on vacation when I was a teenager. I felt an immediate connection to this mountain and part of the world. I have taken several trips back. Usually after big, traumatic life events. This mountain has caught more of my tears than most of my friends. Besides being present for the sunrise and set, I wanted to experience this mountain from a place, one of contentment and love. Would she feel the same as the previous trips? She did not. Instead of feeling like the granite rock of support I needed in the past, she felt like a hug from the oldest soul you know. It was like I heard her whisper, “You did it. You survived. You are fine now. Go live your life.”

I wrote this as Mark drove us to our tiny house the night before the hike up the mountain:

What is it about this place that invokes such emotion and feelings of being home? Is it because of my enneagram 4 affinities for nostalgia? Is it because of the relationship developed between me and this mountain from teen years through adult hood? Is it because I thought death was near as I dry heaved from heat exhaustion on a hiking trip? Or that my soul felt primordial sparks of life return as I descended from the mountain the next day in the rain, cheered on by bolts of lightning and claps of thunder? Is it the seduction of the flowering dogwoods that thumb their nose in defiance in the face of the blight that threatens to snuff out their existence? Yes, sister dogwood, I see you. Perhaps the stone beneath my feat grounds the chaotic and creative energy that often comes with being a healer? If reincarnation is a thing, was this once my home?

I did get to watch the sunset. I also got to experience mice running through my hair in the shelter along with what felt like hurricane force winds all night. The clouds parted long enough in the morning to get my sunrise in as well.

I also discovered that I cannot live in a tiny house. My hiking equipment alone filled up most of the living room. Lol! Btw, the mice were not in the tiny house. They were on the mountain top shelter.

(Beautiful moments, deep conversations, knowing myself, sunrises, sunsets, beautiful moments.)

There is something you should know about me; I hate sitting at the bar in any restaurant. But Mark LOVES it. He says that is where you get to meet the interesting people. Well, he isn’t wrong. While in Georgia, we met J.R. Green. And while I may be an introvert, I know how to get people to talk. (Probably so I don’t have to.) Needless to say, J.R was to this date, one of the most interesting human beings we have ever had the pleasure of chatting with. #deepconversations

The summer was dotted with trips to downtown Baton Rouge while my daughter earned her title as a warrior. She found her voice, drew boundaries and stood up to a bully. We are incredibly grateful to the women and men that stepped in and helped her when she was getting battle fatigued.

I managed to get in two moonlight paddles. One with the Paddle Mafia in Jackson, MS at the Reservoir. But my favorite was with some of my closest friends on Lake Pontchartrain. My friends Lauren and Chad own Canoe and Trail in Mandeville, La. and do guided sunset paddles. If you are looking for a unique date night experience, it is one I highly recommend. I also love supporting small family-owned businesses.

(Connections, deep conversation, more knowing myself, life lessons, beautiful moments, and sunsets.)

Knowing myself, letting go of a scarcity mindset and embracing one of abundance…

This year, I said goodbye to my electric massage table. She was my first purchase right out of massage school. She and I held space for so much healing. I have known for a while my time in the massage industry as I knew it was drawing to an end. But it was so hard to let go of something so familiar. I knew I had to let her go in order to make room for what was to come next. And here you are, reading a blog that I actually had time to create.

Let me take a moment to introduce you to one of my favorite restaurants in Learned, MS. To be clear, Gibb’s is THE only restaurant in Learned. Life moves at a slower pace in small towns. bring your patients and an appetite. And then, there are the Neighborhoods. These are the people that make life entertaining when not we are not galivanting around the world. The last picture is The Barn in our backyard. It only has two rules, no political or religious topics. This has made The Barn a sanctuary for all of us during the last two years. Otherwise, lots of deep (and not so deep) conversations and connections there this year.

Brittney and I did not get to host our annual Rest-Connect-Revive retreat this year. Too many of us were navigating some really big and complicated life changes. We were able to slip away for a bit to hang out, talk, laugh, dance and speak our truths. Percy Quinn State Park has some really reasonably priced cabins. They are minimally stocked. Make sure you bring dish liquid, paper towels and a real knife for cutting things like apples or steaks. But they are really worth utilizing for quick and inexpensive getaways.

One of the biggest things I have learned about myself is that I am healthiest in my romantic relationship when I am able to slip away for time by myself and time with my girlfriends. It feels indulgent and goes against my nature to leave my man at home taking care of the pets and other domestic duties. Hell, it goes against my nature to not invite him to come with me every time I travel! But, I know that is my co-dependent self-preservation habits rearing their ugly heads.

At this time, my favorite podcast on relationships is one created by Mark Groves. He talks a lot about co-dependency as well as a plethora of other relationship topics. I brought his conversation deck “Create the Love” to this getaway. Lord, we laughed. I will tell you about it in a future post. I recommend you check out the podcast and the card deck.

Christmas 2021. Last Christmas, my daughter fought to have the family together. I am glad she insisted. Because this year she was in quarantine with Covid. I literally cannot imagine two Christmases without seeing her. As I type this, I am thinking of my friend whose daughter is stationed in Germany for the second year…Gotta have lots of gratitude for our military and their families and the sacrifices they make.

Since Baton Rouge was out of the question, I proposed we knock another bucket list adventure off the list and visit the Red Bluffs in Foxworth, MS. It is known as Mississippi’s miniature Grand Canyon. It was beautiful. Before I build it up too big, it only has a few miles of trail. Nothing like Clark Creek in Pond, MS. It’s smaller than that. But still worth a drive and hike.

The wind was kicking, and the humidity was high as Snoop Dog. I tell you this because it makes my hair look dirty as an unwashed hippie. It’s not. It is simply gray as hell and calling in some witchy vibes. I have to say, I love my forties. More than my twenties and thirties combined. Whoever said getting older sucks, either lied or they were not doing it right.

Looking at the year as a whole, I did a pretty good job of living intentionally.

With that, I wish you a happy New Year. Mark and I are heading out for our annual retreat to set goals for 2022. I am so looking forward to what the new year brings. It’s going to be delicious.